i said that last year . . .

this afternoon, while watching the GMU/CONN game and skimming washingtonpost.com, i came across a headline that caught my eye. the article caught my eye, not only because of the touchy subject, but because its something i've felt for years and more recently started to vocalize to my fellow female friends. no statistics, no books by an expert or a self-motivated study can further solidify the ideas that i've held in regards to race and marriage. in today's world black people, for the most part, do not get married, as joy jones clearly states, marriage is for white people.

when coldplay released X&Y, one of my friends played the song 'a message' for me. as we listened to chris belt out lyrics of love and devotion, my friend lamented her wishes to have a young man feel that way about her. my immediate response, "white men are raised and taught to love like that, black men aren't". now, i'll be completely honest, these were words of a woman slightly scorned (my ex wasn't engaged yet, but he was seeing his now fiancé at the time), but more true words have never been spoken.

in her article, ms. jones notes the insight of school children as her moment of enlightenment and clarity - i note my moment, or moments, as the on going single saga that i and my single black female sistahs suffer year after year. as she noted, we all deal with our plight differently - some of us delve farther into work or education, while others push forward with maternal instincts and have children out of wedlock, while our single, educated and employed bruhs continue to play the uneven playing field fulfilling the proverbial dream of bachelorhood.

as a 26, very soon to be 27, year old single black female, i've come to terms with the idea of being single for a few more years. the storybook tales of courting/dating, meeting mom's, family holidays, proposals and wedding plans are things that i will live out through my desire to plan events and watch on the sidelines as my white female counterparts live out a dream. it’s sad, but true - with every odd against us, black couples don't get married, PERIOD.

knowledge being power, there is no reason to wallow in these facts - it is what it is – we don’t get married. knowing this, i've found happiness in my current career path, my ability to set a goal and follow thru with it and my new focus on following oprah's debt diet to get a better handle on my finances. with all of these issues on my plate, who has time to cultivate a relationship that will grow into a fulfilling marriage and manage day to day life? apparently, white people.

thank you for bringing this issue to light, ms. jones. i will be sure to forward this enlightening article to every single black male that i know in hopes that your honesty will lead to the rebuilding of the strength of all communities – love and marriage.

Huh . . .?

as i review my emails and revisit my afro irish statement i'm forced to encourage you to watch this, NO REALLY!?! please watch this.

all i have to say is - my people, my people . . .

happily ever after . . . pt. I

over the past few years i've imagined my fairy tale life and here is what i've come up with in pictures . . .

livin in the city, kickin it with my girls, havin a good time

meet a nice guy, engage in a little harmless flirting

hang out with the nice guy, have a few dates

spend more quality time, share a few secrets, be there for each other . . .

MYOB

i may have to give up my guilty pleasure - US Weekly - cuz its bad for my karma. recently i've had my own run in with gossip and it was none too pleasant. it's a very disheartening experience to have friends serve as "unnamed sources" in disclosing/discussing your personal business as if your private discussions and interactions are fair game for public disposal.

two years ago i mentioned a new interest to one of my friends in passing. two years later it was brought to my attention as being one of the determining factors as to why my ex decided to pursue the young woman he is now engaged to. recently, in very similar circumstances, i shared something with a "friend" to have it come back to me as one of the reasons someone decided to call it quits with me.

it seems that i'm better off talking to complete strangers about my business and personal interactions because my friends are doing more harm than good when it comes to helping me maintain my happiness. from now on i'm going to take my own advice and Mind My Business and hopefully other people will follow my lead.

top of the mornin' to ya . . .

yeah, i'm not irish, but i am in the spirit today. i knew it was gonna be a good day when 1) my father tells me that we may have some irish blood - so i'm not wearing green in vain and 2) my mother called to ask me to drink with her tonight - when mom's in the irish spirit you can't help but get wrapped up in the idea of beers and basketball.

nothing else of note to report, but i'm sure i'll have some stories after this evening.

goodbye my lover . . .

i resisted the urge to blog about my recent loverboy in the interest of not jinxing the possibility of the connection developing into something of substance.

several months ago, while at one of my wednesday spots i noticed one of my girl's friends as he came in - my immediate thought . . . "i want that". moments later, after silently drooling over him for a few moments i was told that he had a girlfriend - RED FLAG #1. determination set in and my plan of action was to wait out his unhappy relationship . . . be that friend ready to pick up the pieces. i was in recovery from finding out that my ex was engaged so i was starved for even the possibility of attention.

after several months of waiting the opportunity arose - i got to spend some time with him and a few of our mutuals on valentine's day. RED FLAGS #2-3: he was out with his boy and some girls on valentine's day, he made these crazy ass comments about why he didn't want to be this chic he'd been with for over a year and a half.

fast forward to our first date. can i say that was a wonderful date, but hell it doesn't matter now, because in due time all good things must come to an end.

after three weeks of multiple strings of text messages, lovely sleepovers, in-depth conversation at the crack of dawn and one major discussion, he let ME go. obviously he didn't get the memo - i break hearts, i don't have my heart broken. luckily, i wasn't that into him . . .

that little shit kept me away from my blog, but i'm back - with a vengeance!!!

ah hemm . . .

i was busy, but now i'm not, i'll be back with something new very soon.

from sexless to speechless

jordan (juicy j) houston, cedric (crunchy black) coleman and paul (dj paul) beauregard (aka Three 6 Mafia) performed the nominated "hard out here for a pimp" on the 78th annual academy awards!!! THREE 6 MAFIA, with dc's own taraji p. henson, gave the oscar's most "urban" performance ever and (through either practical joke or honest voting) won a m'in' f'in' oscar!!!! jon stewart summed up the feelings of confusion and pure illogical nature of these award shows "for those of you keeping score at home - martin scorsese, zero; three 6 mafia, one". in other words - WTF?

congratulations to all of the winner's, including the cast of crash!!! with jon stewart and ben stiller and all of the other crazy moments of the night - this was the most entertaining academy awards in years.

dreams and wishes do come true

i'd been hoping for a miracle that would allow me to see one of my all-time favorite bands. tonight my prayers were answered and a dear friendship further solidified . . . i was a member of the fanatic audience sending chris martin birthday wishes while singing along on every song played by coldplay. there is nothing like seeing the excitement of 1000's of people as the first four notes of an anticipated song are played. even with me seeing the show last year at nissan, i am still amazed by the band. an added bonus of the show was hearing fiona apple live. thank you, you know who you are - life was beautiful tonight.