cashed in my v card

today after work i lost my virginity. hair virginity that is. for the past year i've been growing my hair sans the chemical process that many of my friends have forsaken for one reason or another. if i'd realized how difficult it is to maintain natural hair when its as "strong" as mine, i would have reconsidered a LONG time ago.

seeing that my mother has had her hair locked for nearly 7 years and i'd cut my hair off before, i didn't think the going natural thing would be that difficult. yeah right.

when i wanted the bouncy, oprah look i'd get my hair pressed, yes old fashioned pressing comb and everything, but at $60 a pop every other week and the burned hair smell that i couldn't wash out was just too much. not to mention the fact that my hair, or lambs wool as it had affectionately been renamed, was too much for me to handle. my press wouldn't last more than 5 days, tops and walking around on the off weeks with a headwrap or looking like combs didn't like me was not gonna work anymore.

being kinly/curly or for the sake of being real, nappy, was cool, it was like being a virgin all over again. to see the amazement in the eyes of non-natural sisters was similar to the awe that i saw in others faces when my "untouched" friends in college would announce there sexual purity. up until today i had virgin hair and i was proud of it. i guess the means that i can't buy that "curly" tee shirt from miss jessies.

the internal struggle that many of my sisters and i face when it comes to hair are not clearly understood by our white counterparts - to relax or not to relax is a serious question. even my fairer-skinned less-kinky haired sisters can't fully comprehend the idea of a hot comb not being enough to tame the tangles and kinks for a long period of time. what they fail to realize is managing hair should not be this diffucult or expensive.

god made relaxers just for me and at this point in my life i am not going to fight the demons or feel less black because being natural is the new fad. i've embraced my native roots (for a whole 12 months) and my hair is healthier for it, but at this point i was sacrificing my health and exercise because of my hair issues and that ain't gonna work.

so thanks to my fabulous stylist, fela and his friend, for hooking me up. super bone straight hair is the groove again in my book. one day my mother and i won't look so mix matched ;)

artist portrayal of NT and her momma - locks and perm - okay not really cause i'm not 14!