moving right along . . .

so the chapter has finally closed on me and the boy. yes, this is long overdue, but hey, everything happens in due time. unfortunately, i was unable to walk away from the situation with an ounce of dignity, but whatever, the humiliation of the final moments will keep me from going back for more embarrassment.

in the end, i have no regrets. enough lies were told, too much resentment built up, overall, despite the love we shared, there was no true respect. i screamed and cursed him, he lied and cheated on me - fucked with my karma. in every moment there is a lesson and i have learned more about me, my limits and my strengths and weaknesses.

i harbor no ill will towards the boy. our judgement was impaired, the foundation was never solid and we never had a chance. but i love him still and i miss him for what he was to me and the friend that i thought he always would be.

thanks for the memories . . .

SHUT THE F*UCK UP ROSIE!!! DAYUM!!!

so yesterday i stumbled upon the news that kelly ripa was none to happy with her guest co-host clay aiken. while on the show he was a rude and obnoxious smart ass, which made it hard for kelly to be her usual "i'm so happy to host this show" self.

while they were interviewing Emmit Smith, clay decided that he would cover kelly's mouth with his hand so he could ask a question. here's where the drama begins . . . kelly called him out on it and said what any NORMAL person would say "i don't know where your hands have been". living in a major city and knowing full well that some people are not as big on hygiene as others, i understand kelly's issue with that. gay or not, if you shake hands with a room full of people, people who may have changed a diaper and not washed their hands or wiped their own dirty bottom and skipped the sink, and think its appropriate to cover someone elses mouth with your now ecoli ridden hands you've got some serious issues and should be bitch slapped. but did kelly do that - nope, she simply called him out on it.

donald trump doesn't shake hands, does that make him a people-phobe or racist? no, he simply doesn't like germs!!!

when my girl e is kissed on the hand by the random homeless man and immediately walks away scrubbing her hand with antibacterial wipes does that make her anti-homeless, nope, she just doesn't like other people's germs on her body.

so to say that kelly's statement was homophobic is ridiculous! what dumbass would think that she was referring to his sexual orientation? the same dumbass that wants to put everybody else's business out there - star had a gastic bypass, o and gayle are gay, blah, blah, blah . . . bitch mind your business and worry about your own. now when kelly is off the show for a week cause she got the flu, don't say a damn thing, just know that she got it from dirty handed clay touching her all in the mouth. rude ass!

No money in da bank, shawdee I can't drank

okay, that title is lame as hell, but that's how i feel dammit!!! today marks my first high ass DC rent check and it hurts. when i moved into my spot in Nov of 04, i was a little nervous about paying $900 a month, but my spot is in SW DC on the waterfront and my utilities are included. the Nov 05 marked the first increase and it was brutal - a whole $95, but again, i reasoned that away by noting the improvements that were being made in my condo building and the fact that my spot was my spot, no roommate, no momma, just me to blame when the place was a mess and the dishwasher wasn't loaded. AND my rend was under $1000, YEPPIE!!!!

then the bubble burst and hit me smack in the face a few weeks ago, the cost of living allowed my landlord - a very nice guy by the way - to raise my rent by $30. YES a meager $30. mind you that now puts me at $1025 - GOTDAMN!!! to live in a damn studio and the building doesn't have a gym. Ummmm and to add insult to injury I have to pay for my cable now - WTF!!! so now i'm reconsidering the whole roommate thing, but by the time my lease ends, i'll feel too old to have one, but in this high rent ass area i need a man, a partner, a sponsor, somebody's kid to claim on my taxes or something. a part-time gig may be the answer, but my job frowns upon second jobs since my department is pretty much on call 24/7.

so the first of many uber high ass rent checks to be paid over the next 12 months was just handed to my landlord face to face, since we work up the street from one another, but i'm working on my backup plan - buying my own waterfront area condo!

See, that's the problem . . .

Now that mid-term elections are out of the way, the poli folks start handing out assignments to pat the dedicated people on the back. Pelosi has given her support to Murtha for his years of service, even though he was the underdog to MD's Hoyer - that tug of war makes sense, cause it comes down to whatever makes the folks happy behind closed doors, right?

What I don't understand is HOW IN THE HELL the Repubs can preach about wanting inclusiveness, etc. and elect this racist fool as minority whip? Oh, yeah, this is the same party that elected Bush to two terms.

Good ole boy Trent is from the great state of Mississippi (I do love my home state) and did have a few Katrina related issues (that's where my love for him stops), but he is not the face of "we respect black people" that the Red party needs right now. Umm, obviously the whole Michael Steele party of we are open to understanding the needs of America's minorities and want them to sit on this side of the isle deal was just a farce. To add insult to injury they offered the RNC top dog job to my fellow DC area catholic school graduate Mike, but dayum, Trent's job has too much pull for this to really balance out and be a good look for the Red team.

I'm all about common ground and finding balance so that despite the various stances that we take on the hundreds of moral or poli issues that help us determine our flying colors of red or blue. My friends know I'm more red than blue, but I even out to a nice shade of purple at the end of the day.

I guess the idea behind this dumb ass decision is to push the envelope as much as possible since the Dems have taken over - ummmmmm, what political strategist came up with that foolishness??? (it makes sense, but come on) - so that when Bush is out of office in 08 they still have a strong arm. These are the types of decisions that continue to push this country into political and race-based corners. WHAT THE HELL???

Thank the Lord for little miracles!

In recent days we've heard news of so many celeb divorces coming down the pipes that this shouldn't be a shock, but whoa nelly . . .

The heavens have opened and B. Spears has finally seen the light. According to People.com, Mr. and Mrs. Federline are no more – Shar Jackson is on the phone with her T-Mobile Top 5 giggling and crying at the same time talkin ‘bout “I told her it wouldn’t last, but how is my child support gonna get paid now?”

a weekend of good times

so my weekend was pretty cool - very busy and productive. friday night i attended a fenty for mayor event, who can turn down wine, cheese and poli talk?

saturday i left my house at 10 AM had brunch in adam's morgan with some friends, left the morgan (which is so odd during daylight hours when you think of all the foolishness that takes place when the sun goes down) and worked at the campaign office from 12:45 to 8 PM - yeah, i'm puttin in my time.

after leaving there i met up with another group of girs for dinner at one of my favorite spots - busboys and poets - for a collegemates birthday. that dinner was fabulous, although my meatloaf was super dry and not as tasty as the waiter told me it would be, but i was hungrier than a hostage, so i had to take one of the team. i walked back in my house at 12:45 AM. LONG DAY and good times. nothing like an evening with the ladies discussing the troubles of natural hair and being a single woman in the city to top off a night.

my sunday was el fabulous . . . my girl came over to blow out my hair for my evening. the redskins beat the cowboys - 'nuff said. i met up with my girls to see robin thicke and john legend at crampton. sorry to say that i was excited about seeing robin since i am diggin his album a heluva lot more than john's sophomore disappointment. there are songs that i like on once again, but it just doesn't jive like get lifted. robin on the other hand brings it from beginning to end, which is why i missed the first song and a half of john's performance to take a picture with RT . . . good times.

now its monday and its back to the grind.

that little voice in my head just won't listen

I was on an unintentional break . . . hope I haven't fallen off the blogger radar completely.

well, nothing is really going on in my life - the same back and forth nonsense with notreallythatimportant men/boys - today happens to be the boy's 26th birthday, so I was kind enough to send him a card. thats the most I could do for someone who was special enough at one point in time to actually meet my daddy.

I was having a conversation over email with AM today about the perils of dating. I realized that I can dish out fabulous advice, but i'm horrible at listening to my own little voice. so I sat back thinking what would I would have said to myself about the boy situation . . . I pondered this and realized that we all give advice, but we seldom take the advice we've received.

in the however many countless discussion i've had with others about my problems or theirs, I think I can recall one of my friends who has the willpower to stop something the first time a red flag is raised. today I told AM the following:

don't go into thinking that he's a sleezeball trying to get in your
panties, just be on guard with yourself. i'm also not saying that you have
to go by the unspoken # date guidelines, but rather get a better sense of what
his intentions are before you decide to let him come over or you go over because
things will lead to the next few things and . . . well you know. if you're
cautious on this side of the issue you will save yourself time, energy and
emotions on the back end.

that is some damn good advice and I didn't know I had it in me . . . from here on out i'll listen to that side of myself a little more often. we'll see how that turns out.