Thursday, May 25, 2006

"big momma thick wit it" seeks diet advice from pop idol

how hard can it be to lose 15 pounds a month for 4 months? apparently not too difficult if you ask ms. dupree AKA janet jackson. now i'm not one to flash my voluptuousness on national television, but when it comes to dropping 60 pounds, hell 25 for that matter, i'm going to follow the diet queen's obvious path of results. now, what i won't do is lie about why i gained the extra weight i put on. i'm not trying out the new big girl look, nor am i attempting to see the difference in the attention i get from guys with different looks - long hair/big body, long hair/little body - i just put on weight, plain and simple.

now as we age, we all pack on a pound or two, but as a former hot body (not my own quote, thank god) and avid runner there was no reason for me to EVER wear a size 14. somehow my love for food took precedence over my 12 grade vow to never get any larger than a small 10. looking back i see each phase in my life that added another little pound to my frame and cannot fault myself for overeating, but i can fault my inner temptress for not doing something to combat my need to eat in the face of adversity.

phase 1 - sophomore year and birth control. yeah, i blame my pills. i ate anything that wasn't moving and didn't care to stop myself. my mother promptly stepped in and provided me with an inspirational quote that i will forever hold near and dear to my heart. "its birth control for you because no one will want to have sex with you - you've gotten too big!"

let's just say that i stopped taking the pill and shed the pounds very quickly.

phase 2 - post graduation/real job + real money = real food. once you've switched from the diet of ramen noodles to the diet of hamburger helper, the pounds seem to slip in there out of nowhere. eating regular meals and not drinking and dancing in place of dinner can really do a number on your metabolism. food was my friend, food that was a step up from cafeteria meals was my lover.

luckily i had a roommate who gave me the running bug and i trained for a 1/2 marathon in the dead of summer - the pounds fell off and my inner janet began to surface.

phase 3 - on again off again love. as my dear friend AM mentioned the other day, the self inflicted torture of love can have many effects on a woman. my outlet for any break up was to wallow in my misery and forfeit any type of energy that would make me attractive to anyone of the opposite sex. this was then intensified by the desire to be as desirable as humanly possible and the pounds would again float off . . . this same phase continues to this very day.

now what? i'm going to by us weekly, read the article like a diet crack fiend and apply any and every principle of JJ's regimen to my lifestyle - IMMEDIATELY!!! i'm running the race for the cure in June, i'm running the rock and roll 1/2 marathon in september and will continue to run as long as my knee will allow me to. this on again off again battle of the bulge is now officially over, as my muse has set a standard that i cannot ignore.

hawaii here i come!!!


Blogger diva527 said...

NT, we should just get our ribs removed like her!

9:02 AM  

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