21 rules for the new year
so i sent out a very thoughtful and self-improvement'esq email to my friends as a healthy way to go into the new year. below is the original version with the additions one of my oh so fabulous former colleauges sent back -- let's just say that i love his version so much more - thanks BW!!!
Thanks N'Oprah... and a Happy New Year to you! Because I can't just simply let this go without comment, I've decided to add a lil sumsum down below:
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.-- SMILE WHEN YOU BITCH SLAP 'EM
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. -- SHIT PLEASE. MAKE IT LEGAL AND I'LL GET MARRIED SEVERAL TIMES THIS YEAR TO PEOPLE WHO LOVE TO TALK DIRTY TO ME!
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. -- BUT EAT AND DRINK EVERYTHING IN SIGHT
4. When you say, "I love you," mean it. -- OR AT LEAST DON'T LOOK BORED IF YOU HAVE TO FAKE IT
5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. --BUT BE SURE TO SAY IT LOUDLY IF THEY'RE BLIND OR THAT YOU'RE LOOKING INTO THEIR GOOD EYE IF BLIND IN ONLY ONE EYE
6 Be engaged at least six months before you get married. --ESPECIALLY IF IT'S A SHOTGUN WEDDING!
7. Believe in love at first sight. -- AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO FALL INTO LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT SEVERAL TIMES THIS YEAR... BUT USE PROTECTION
8. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much. -- BUT FUNNY DREAMS ARE OKAY TO LAUGH AT
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.-- DEEP AND PASSIONATE LOVE... HURT? I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT ONE!
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. -- UNLESS IT'S BITCH OR HO OR IGNANT
11. Don't judge people by their relatives. -- JUDGE THEM BY THE SHOES THEY WEAR AND THE CARS THEY DRIVE (OR BY THEIR BUS ROUTE)
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.-- WALK SLOWLY AND DRINK QUICKLY
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" -- AND THEN FROWN AND SAY "TAIN YO BI'NESS"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. -- FORGET IT... USE A CONDOM NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU!!
15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. -- AND IF THEY BECOME OFFENDED AT BEING BLESSED BY SOMEONE AS LOWLY AS YOURSELF, ADOPT THE SEINFELD SOLUTION: YOU'RE SO GOOD LOOKIN.
16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson -- OR BETTER YET, NEVER LOSE SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LOSING THE LESSON.
17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions. -- BECAUSE SANTA'S WATCHING!
18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. -- END THE FRIENDSHIP FOR ALL THE OTHER REASONS
19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. -- THEN BLAME THE MISTAKE ON SOMEONE ELSE AND CREDIT YOURSELF WITH THE SOLUTION
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. -- GRITTING YOUR TEETH DOES NOT COUNT
21. Spend some time alone. -- SPENDING TIME ALONE ELIMINATES THE NEED TO WORRY ABOUT STEPS 1 THROUGH 20!!
Thanks N'Oprah... and a Happy New Year to you! Because I can't just simply let this go without comment, I've decided to add a lil sumsum down below:
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.-- SMILE WHEN YOU BITCH SLAP 'EM
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. -- SHIT PLEASE. MAKE IT LEGAL AND I'LL GET MARRIED SEVERAL TIMES THIS YEAR TO PEOPLE WHO LOVE TO TALK DIRTY TO ME!
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. -- BUT EAT AND DRINK EVERYTHING IN SIGHT
4. When you say, "I love you," mean it. -- OR AT LEAST DON'T LOOK BORED IF YOU HAVE TO FAKE IT
5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. --BUT BE SURE TO SAY IT LOUDLY IF THEY'RE BLIND OR THAT YOU'RE LOOKING INTO THEIR GOOD EYE IF BLIND IN ONLY ONE EYE
6 Be engaged at least six months before you get married. --ESPECIALLY IF IT'S A SHOTGUN WEDDING!
7. Believe in love at first sight. -- AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO FALL INTO LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT SEVERAL TIMES THIS YEAR... BUT USE PROTECTION
8. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much. -- BUT FUNNY DREAMS ARE OKAY TO LAUGH AT
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.-- DEEP AND PASSIONATE LOVE... HURT? I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT ONE!
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. -- UNLESS IT'S BITCH OR HO OR IGNANT
11. Don't judge people by their relatives. -- JUDGE THEM BY THE SHOES THEY WEAR AND THE CARS THEY DRIVE (OR BY THEIR BUS ROUTE)
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.-- WALK SLOWLY AND DRINK QUICKLY
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" -- AND THEN FROWN AND SAY "TAIN YO BI'NESS"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. -- FORGET IT... USE A CONDOM NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU!!
15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. -- AND IF THEY BECOME OFFENDED AT BEING BLESSED BY SOMEONE AS LOWLY AS YOURSELF, ADOPT THE SEINFELD SOLUTION: YOU'RE SO GOOD LOOKIN.
16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson -- OR BETTER YET, NEVER LOSE SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LOSING THE LESSON.
17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions. -- BECAUSE SANTA'S WATCHING!
18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. -- END THE FRIENDSHIP FOR ALL THE OTHER REASONS
19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. -- THEN BLAME THE MISTAKE ON SOMEONE ELSE AND CREDIT YOURSELF WITH THE SOLUTION
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. -- GRITTING YOUR TEETH DOES NOT COUNT
21. Spend some time alone. -- SPENDING TIME ALONE ELIMINATES THE NEED TO WORRY ABOUT STEPS 1 THROUGH 20!!
posted by NubianTemptres43 at Thursday, January 12, 2006
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