Monday, February 06, 2006

happy valentines day . . .

not!!! one of my dear friends had the bright idea of celebrating VDAY as our love new year . . . well i rang it in with a bottle of moet and another single friend -- isn't that promising . . .

my blog title has taken on new meaning. i'm at a point where i can't even BEG for sex. i'm not dating anymore, i've cut off any prospects and i lost my only jumpoff. i never thought the day would come at the ripe age of 26. if i wasn't married off by 30, yes, i could see this being my status, but 26, fit, cute, and single - fully single - and nobody to share the love with, not even on valentine's day. come on, man!!!

i've gotten to the point where the evening calls that i expect and anticipate are from my loyal and faithful set of single girlfriends. the phone rings and i immediately know who to expect - can you say LAME.

i spent the first part valentine's day evening at a mayorial campaign office with my dearest friend E and the second have with my high school crew in georgetown with a guy that i've had a crush on for a little over a month. did i mention that this guy just happens to have a girlfriend. YES - it seems that everyone else in this city is coupled up but me and my friends obviously.

so what do i do? do i change it up and start third-wheeling it with married couples to shun the vibes of my single friends? or do i just settle for the nice, safe ex who is willing to rekindle a febble flame for the sake of psuedo happiness?

at this point i cannot continue to let this cycle run its course . . . there is obviously some evil force working against me - karma and the sins of my lineage, something. i've come to the conclusion that i'm going to sing india.arie's "i'm ready for love" every night before bed as my new mantra, you know like the hail mary, but i'm not catholic. wanna hear it, here it goes . . .

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace

Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patience, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can
I am ready for love

Here with a offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind
Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love

I am ready


Blogger Bittersweet said...

Sad to say that I am in the same boat as you are :( But I think I may "borrow" your mantra and listen/sing that song nightly after my prayers as well!

5:24 PM  
Blogger Asian Mistress said...

Ugh me too girl you know it!

4:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man why did you pick the best song ever for your mantra. That pretty much sums up are lives doesn't it?! I've been listening to that song all day, since I read your blog this morning.

Isn't it crazy that I just downloaded that song to my IPOD on Friday or Saturday. I had to have it & of course Brown Skin, and Beautiful. That shit is so for real. I don't know about you, but I feel lost right now in the love arena.

Thanks for speaking the truth.
Love ya!

12:13 PM  

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